13 months

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13 months and 14 days.

This is how long I worked as an opd nurse in the former company where I worked before I resigned to pursue my speciality of being an ICU Nurse in a government hospital.

I am always grateful for the opportunity that came my way. The nice people I met, the skills I learned, and the daily experience with catering patient needs is more than enough to be thankful for.

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I believe that what is really meant for us will really find a way no matter what.

When I started in my former work, they promised to transfer me to my speciality and that I have to wait for a few weeks and then they can transfer me as soon as they find a replacement.

Well, 13 months after and still, my hope gets crushed day by day, and the feeling of grieving for my skills as it becomes dormant is eating my soul and work has become depressing really fast.  I truly believe that if you do something, do it with all your heart. Go Big or die trying!

I am really skilled – I love the sound of ECG machines, ventilators, the smell of icu .. getting busy with critical patients –it gives that sense of accomplishment, that sense of hype.

6 months after I started, and a day after finding out that the lady who was supposed to replace me went AWOL, my feeling of hope really flew out the window. Its like being thrown out in the sinkhole of nothingness. I remember feeling so hopeless inspite having everyhing prepared and laid out; endorsements printed, patient updates all compiled in spreadsheets – it was like doing it for nothing. I come to work day by day so depressed and I really thought that I’d get stuck in OPD doing paperworks and calling patients asking for follow-up. To be honest, it is not really how I imagined my career to be.

With a glimpse of hope disappearing… I got an email for an interview in a government hospital, they asked for my CV, and a few days after — I was sitting outside on queue in the HR Department. It was an interview supposedly for woundcare nurse, and I said why not? I’m an ICU Nurse and I was a Hemodialysis specialist before that, I might as well try my luck and go for it.

Well, inside the room of 4 people including the HR Manager, Director Nursing, ICU Specialist, and HR personnel they checked my file and grilled me with question after question. After a moment of silence and their look on their faces — they finally asked me if I would like to work in ICU. I honestly cried in-front of them. It was everything that I asked and prayed for! I cannot imagine having this opportunity. It was like a fire lit my spirit and I was soaring high!

I truly believe that having faith in yourself and patience.. everything that is meant for us will always find a way. Everyday I am so grateful for everything in my life; my boyfriend, having a roof over my head, sun in the sky, the air we breathe, the everyday opportunities and events,  my cats and everything else that makes up everyday.

I am truly happy.

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